Thursday, March 20, 2008

keep on keepin' on

so. blog. let's be serious for just a minute (and if i may, blunt, as well).
my nana passed away only a couple of weeks after my grandpa. yupp, the one who just celebrated her 105th birthday. just after her birthday she got pneumonia ... and it was sort of down hill from there.
im pretty sad about all this death going around. i mean its been a couple of weeks, and no one has died. but still .... the shock of losing my very first family members is wearing off, and really all that has happened is the settling in of sadness.
examples, you say? well let me tell you ...
i was driving home from work and this song came on the radio .. the chorus goes something like *grandpa was telling stories. as we all sat in the living room this christmas. we thought it'd be his last one* on and on .. sadder and sadder. and i just starting crying. pretty uncontollably. why is this man broadcasting MY story over the airwaves like this?!?
and then just that same night we went to my parents for dinner, where my dad had received a card from someone .... a sympathy card ... which he couldnt read. and he asked me to read it out loud to him. i couldnt even finish reading what the woman wrote because i started crying so much.
last week we were out for ice cream. and rachel brought up grandpa. and i just started crying again.
every time i pick up the phone to call my grandma, i start getting teary eyed. and tonight ... well tonight was no exception.
i have a pretty sure belief of where we go from here. i expect that you never feel cold where they are, blog.
but i think what i struggle with the most is what i am supposed to do until i get to where they are ....

and i suppose i just gotta keep on keepin' on.

(thanks .... for letting me vent.)

1 comment:

Kim Miller said...

Hey girlie, hang in there. 105! That's amazing. Take comfort in knowing "the plan" : )