Monday, December 14, 2009

uggs




nathan and i have a rule. i do ... i dunno ... 80% of the housework (you know he helps with dishes on occasion, and vaccums sometimes). and in return, he will do the yard work. not the dog poo though. i do that too. we used to be on a rotating schedule. but everytime it was his turn, he offered me 20$ to do it for him. since we share money, hes just giving me my own 20$. lame. so now i just do it all the time, for free. because i love him like that.

while doing the dog duty (get it???), i noticed we had a lot of leaves around. i mean i guess it is winter after all. it makes sense. so i decided to do some of nathans job and rake.

to go outside and do these chores, i had to wear my uggs. because its cold out.

let me tell you about these uggs. i got them a few years ago. when we first moved into our eagle mountain home (utah) i wore them. it was the first weekend of march, and still cold. i took the uggs off in the garage and spent time doing ... stuff. the next time i needed to wear the boots, i went to the garage and stuffed my feet in. in fact, i really had to stuff on my left boot. it felt like the inside fluff of the boot was coming loose and bunching up near my toes. i walked into the kitchen and was feeling really uncomfortable. so i took the boot off. reached in. and start getting the fluff out.

when i did - i looked down, and there was not fluff in my hand - there was a FREAKIN MOUSE. i literally threw it as hard as i could at the tile floor. im not sure if i felt like i needed to make sure it was dead or what. but im sure i screamed. and i ran away. upstairs.

after this - things get fuzzy. im pretty sure i tried to call nathan - who was still living at our apt in SLC (another story - just go with it). no answer. so i called my brother-in-law ben. who lived in kaysville. what i thought he was going to be able to do from an hour away, is beyond me. but i called. and left a HYSTERICAL message. not hysterical funny. but i was in a fit of hysteria. i couldnt breathe. i think i nearly died. im pretty sure.

i left the mouse on the kitchen floor for three days until nathan could come and take care of it. i didnt go into the kitchen for those three days. i dont even know what i ate - i was still living in a post-near-death haze. the boot was still lying on the floor when nathan arrived too.

the boots went into my closet. i didnt know if i could ever wear them again. but, hey, uggs are expensive.

i think ive worn them twice since this incident. today was time two. and when i put them on, one of the tags inside started scratching my leg. i screamed. dont judge me. you would too if you lived through the trauma i had.

once outside and raking, everytime i saw something remotely fuzzy, i was sure it was a mouse. or a mouse house.

wearing uggs will always make me think of mice. and not in a good way. (as if there was a good way)

UGH!

5 comments:

nikki said...

It's a good thing you're really funny cuz you are also really wacky weird.

nikki said...

That was me, Nathan, by the way. I didn't realize you were logged in on this computer. Just didn't want you to flip out and think you sleep walked down here in the middle of the night to comment on your own funny weirdness.

nikki said...

This isn't Nathan now, it is the ghost of mice past. Niiiiccccooooollllle, long ago I sought refuge from the lingering cold of an Eagle Mountain winter. I found warmth and solace in your garage inside a very nice, no doubt expensive, UGG boot. When to my surprise and horror, and ultimate demise your big footy wooty came upon me with the fury of a wild hawk searching for prey. But suddenly there seemed hope, light at the end of the boot's tunnel. And then, you pulled me from the one peaceful, now nightmarish abode and heaved my broken mouse body onto the floor, all went black. Needless to say, mice live beyond the grave too, obviously. (We even have hands big enough to type after death) So, I am back to haunt you. You will NEVER be able to wear UGG's again without thinking of me and catching glimpses of my little dead mouse body lying nearby your boot, just as it was on the day you snuffed out my little mouse life. BOOYA SUCKA!!

Oh and PS, tell Nathan we haven't forgot about the mouse he killed at your family cabin either. He will get his. Oh yes, the last known relative of Fievel Mousekowitz (or however you spell his name...really who names a rat that)will have his revenge!! DOUBLE BOOYA, you mouse hatin' SUCKAS!!

Annie said...

That. is. so. disgusting.

Roylance Fam said...

Hi nicole!!! Love your blog:) Your fam is adorable!!!