Friday, August 13, 2010

my mother's daughter's son

ive been wondering if my mum felt about me the way i feel about lbj.

wait!  i know she loved (and still loves) me.  i just mean, im so flipping amazed and proud of him almost all the time.

sometimes i want to scream and pull my hair out. if you happen to come by my house at the time, you will be able to hear lbj screaming (what i can only imagine would be obscenities if he knew them). and youd be able to hear it from the street.  thats because ive put him in his crib.  its for his own safety really. and the book said i could and should do that if im about to lose it.

but ... this was supposed to be about how proud i am.  so back to that.

honestly, i just want to brag about him.  about the things he does.  but what he does is no different than what any other 14 month is probably doing.  thats why i cant understand why i get so excited.  every morning, i go in to get him, and he points to his books and asks me a question (i assume, based on the intonation of his voice).  and so we sit down and read.  and we do the same thing after nap time.  i am so amazingly proud that he loves books so much. and that he he can point to them and let me know he wants me to sit in our big arm chair and read with him.  
it doesnt seem so exciting typing it out. but i love it, nonetheless.

while he was "reading" to me today, i wondered about my mum.  and what i was like as a baby.  and if im like her now.    

theres no answer to this question. i didnt ask her at dinner.  because thats just weird.

(but blogging about it totally isnt, right)


Annie. said...

I feel the same way about Eli. Isn't it amazing? Every small little tiny thing? Sometimes I think I would drive everyone insane if they knew how fascinated I am with him and every last sound he makes and silly face he gives me.

And that's why being a mother is incredible. You love your child with a fierceness unmatched. I think it is part of our divine nature.

St. Julien's said...

I wondered the same thing about my mom. I just didn't get how I am so obsessed and need to grit my teeth and squeeze my kids so hard all the time, my mom doesn't react to me that way when I walked in the door to say hello to her. I know she loves me alot, but I think kids have to be edible in their first years because of all the chaos they can cause:) Maybe deep down my mom wants to chew my cheeks still but has learned to resist.

DeeBoyzMomma said...