firsts

so much has happened since i last blogged.

but theres no use in trying to catch you up on four and half years of stuff.  so we are all just going to move forward as if i never stopped writing, and youll just need to fill in the blanks and catch up.

one thing i ought to mention is we moved to arizona.

nathans dad got really sick a few years ago - and we came down to be with him and the family.  dan recovered from that (which was surprising to us all) and hung on for another few years.  but eventually the "big c" got him, and it wasnt easy or pretty at the end.
f cancer (and if i were speaking ... not writing - id drop that f bomb so hard.) hes been gone since the end of february.  now we are heading into the holidays.  the first holidays without him.

its pretty much what you would imagine if you havent yet experienced this kind of loss.  it sucks. hard.  everything you do, you think, "dan would've ...." and insert any memory, thought, feeling you have about him.  and then start tearing up. 

death is hard.  and i dont have any good thoughts or funny ways out of it.  it just is.

so ... 

heres to getting through these holidays

to getting through all these "firsts"

and hoping that it gets better next year.